Monday, January 25, 2010

I Fell in Love



Why am I writing this? I suppose it's more for me than anything else. I need some sort of outlet for what I experience and sometimes feel. Not that any personal or private details will be posted on this blog, but still, just a sounding board for me. Now, how shall I begin?

My feelings run deep, and for the ones that I love, I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I feel, my feelings run wide and deep. It's hard for me to hide my feelings. They say that to hide your true feelings is to lie. What do you think then? I leave it to you.

I can honestly say, that I have never been "in love" until I met her. I thought my "first love" was true love, but what I have discovered, is that I had no knowledge of what true love really was, up until this point.

I've always had my guard up, through all of my relationships, as long as I can remember. I never thought I could ever lower my defences to anyone, never thought I would find the one that would achieve it.

I never felt close to anyone, never wanted to come home to anyone at the end of the day, never enjoyed spending time with anyone, never looked forward to talking to anyone openly or honestly, until she came into my life.

She is my world, and holds my heart and soul in her hands, and always will.

Being human, I have fears, like everyone else. Guess my biggest fear in this relationship is being “abandoned”.


Quite honestly, neither of this fear bothered me in the early stages of this relationship. I now know that I really didn't care if it happened at all, I'd just walk away without an ounce of pain or hurt.

Things are different this time. I am already grown-up enough to think maturely. I can’t imagine how would my days be without her, I can’t imagine who am I without her, and I can't even imagine what would happen now. It really scares me.

And about her, where should I start? She is the most amazing lady I have ever met. I have never in my life, been with a lady that I'm more in tune with. She is amazing! Not just because of the way she is, but what she has been through.

I believe in my heart of hearts, that most people wouldn't have came through as strong as she did, after going through what she had experienced all this while. She is passionate, sensitive, caring, intelligent, humorous, and she is positive towards life.



And most of all, I am her son. I love you a lot, mum, and it’s from the bottom of my heart.

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