Age is Catching Up

I am going to age myself with this post but here goes! As I approach my 23rd birthday next month, (did I just say that?!) I can't help but to reflect on my life, ponder over years gone by. Almost a quarter of a decade is upon me. It is both exciting and boring at the same time. Boring, in the sense that, it will be another year ahead, just like all the 22 years that had passed.

I was driving to work, for the umpteenth time, this morning, and it got me to thinking about my teens. As I watched the boys and girls go to school, that was when I thought about how I wouldn't want to be in my teen anymore.

But, that doesn’t mean I hate my teenage life, or I hate schooling. I enjoyed my schooldays just as much as I enjoyed everyday of my life. Just that, when you know that you’ll have to wake up early for school, and there would be homework everyday and exams every month, all those just killed off the excitement of going to school.

My teenage brings a lot of fond memories back to me. It’s a stage in my life where I had lessons on how to accept and face nature’s most extraordinary sentiments: success and defeat.

I do regard teenage, for that matter, as a “teacher” who prepares me for my many years ahead. Success is not a matter of being the best and wining the race. Success is a matter of handling the worst and finishing the race.

Back to my topic. Today I feel like I am doing what I have always been meant to do. Being an undergraduate and having the opportunity to study what I think I like are what I feel excited about doing. I have more clarity these days, I take better care of myself, I enjoy more of the quiet moments.

Do you miss your 20's? If you could turn back the clock would you ever go back? What do you like more about yourself now? What do you feel has shaped you into who you are today?

It's Simple English

Hey all! Here I am blogging while I'm supposed to be working on my layout drawing for the new production line. I am taking advantage on the chances given. *lol* A big THANK YOU to the brother of mine.

It's a good thing, though. Now I know I can muti-task. *giggle*

Guess what? I was about to have a sore throat this morning, (I just knew it will come) so I decided to pay the in-plant clinic a visit. After much persuading, a friend of mine tagged along.

And so, we reached the clinic. My first impression was, the nurses there look very compassionate. Well, that's how nurses should look, that's how they should act. That's their work ethics, right? WRONG!!

Follow my conversation with a nurse there (believe me, it sucks BIG time), and I will tell you why:

Me: Good morning!
Nurse: Ha mi szu? (It's "what's the matter?", Hokkien style).
Me: Erm... I think I am having a sore throat.
Nurse: *hokkien* ... *hokkien* ... trainee...
Me: Huh? What trainee? Oh ya, I am a trainee. I would like to get some medicine for sore throat.
Nurse: *hokkien* ... *hokkien*
Me: ...

After some deep eye-to-eye moments:

Nurse: *sarcastic face* You don't understand Hokkien ah? Where u from one?
Me: I am from Ipoh.
Nurse: Aiya! Tell early mah... Canto ah? Or English?

I was so f******ly pissed off. I spoke to her in English from the time i entered the room. And here she came asking me do I speak Cantonese or English. I did not say anything much, took the sore throat lozenges, and I sped off.

Nurse? Compassionate? Caring? I say, Malaysia Boleh!

What Calms Me?

I took this picture over the weekend. The weather was so beautiful, as it rained in the early part of the morning. All I had to do was to walk along the sea line and it was like I went to another world.

Whether it is the ocean, or the lake, or a river, water has always had a calming effect on me. I love to just sit and look at the endless blue and listen to waves hitting against the shore. Even the little sound of water rippling against the rocks takes me out of my mood.

That is what I needed that day. I woke up with a headache, feeling very uneasy and spent most of my day sitting in front of my laptop, waiting for the pain to subside and the cloudy feeling to go away.

The most important thing for me when I feel like that is to figure out how to get myself to a better place. So that was what I did. I knew I had missed most of the day by the time my head quit pounding.

It was quite a long drive to the seaside. As I listened to the waves crunched on the stones, it carried me to the shoreline. I could feel a sense of calm I hadn't felt all day. There was a slight breeze and I could hear the waves gently lapping against shore. I stood there for a good 10 minutes and almost forgot where I was.

The sound of cars whooshing by on the road were gone for a few moments. I wished I could stay there forever...

What calms you? How do you handle stress? What do you do when you need to get away from the voices in your head?

远距离爱情 (Long-Distance Relationship)

维持远距离爱情有3大非常重要的条件:

 （1）这个人必须是具备独立的个性与独立生活的能力，不会因为你不在身边就会无法生活或睡不着。如果这个人，在日常生活非常依赖的话，绝对不会是好人选。因为这个人会有意无意制造了很多机会让第三者趁虚而入。毕竟人非草木，有个人每天对你献殷勤，甚至让你产生依赖的感觉，难保你不会忘记远方的那位，改投他人怀抱享受温暖。

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（2）面对寂寞的能力： 寂寞往往是远距离恋爱的最大杀手！离乡背井最糟糕的状况就是因为人生地不熟，让你的情绪有非常孤立的感觉，特别是去到文化语言完全不一样的国家，你会因为思乡及相思而倍感寂寞。寂寞是一种让你失去的理智的情绪，会推你去做很多很多破坏关系的事情。

因此，克服寂寞或者不让自己寂寞是远距离恋爱中重要的功课。让自己在念书的时间过得多姿多彩，培养更多的嗜好，不要让自己完全依赖恋爱来解除寂寞。要知道，当你不断的想念对方而无法见时，你会容易怨恨。特别是你遭遇问题时，对方无法在身旁时，那种感觉，会让你一直想放弃。

所以，要清晰知道，你要具备解决问题的能力，不要让自己有这种情绪出现。还要清楚知道，一旦接受远距离，就要接受这些连带的副作用。不能拿这做借口。

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（3）无比的信心与信任加上宽容体谅跟大方的心。远距离另一个最大的问题就是双方无法知马上看到对方而产生很多的猜疑，甚至怀疑对方有没有背叛或偷吃，结果就衍生一堆负面情绪等等。

这个时候，我说的条件就派上用场了。你必须有信心知道你是对方心目中最好的，对方不管走了多远，最后还是会在你身边的。就像放风筝似的，只要线在你的手中就可以了。然后永远保持正面的想法，就算对方无法马上回电或msn什么的，也不代表不爱你或去偷吃了。

更难做到的是，在这个不人道的相恋过程，如果对方有时候因为历练不够，把持不住，做了坏蛋，你能有原谅的或接纳对方错误的胸襟吗？

因为距离跟时间，所以远距离恋爱要投入的时间精神跟资源，是一般恋爱无法比拟的。因此，要有清晰的认知，这是一场长期战争，过程可能会很多的状况，可是，大家要记得最终目标是什么，过程的细节，就不要太在意了。

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Immune System Breakdown

*Mayday! Mayday!*

Sounds serious, huh? Yes, it does. I am sick, yet again, and this time will be the third time. Three times in two months, that will be 0.66666667 months/sick (try to get your calculator and punch). I am down with a fever, cough and a runny nose. Maybe it’s attributable to my unhealthy diet or exercise deficiency, or lack of H2O intake.

Or maybe it’s the weather. Ya, the weather. It’s killing over here. Raining in the morning, and scorching in the afternoon. Sometimes, it roasts the whole day. (Guess I am pointing fingers at Mother Nature *speechless*)


Fever for me is just a pinch of salt. Few tablets of Panadol, and I will be as good as new, literally. However, this time, my fever keeps coming back. And the worst thing is, it comes back during the night. If it returns during the day, no problemo! I can gulp down two Panadols, and voila! Bye bye fever! But...*sad*

What irritates me the most is not the fever; it’s the runny nose. Everything changes: my voice, my sense of smell and taste, everything! And believe me, I can gobble down a spoonful of salt, and it still tastes, pretty tasteless.

I’m already few days an herbivorous (well, almost) and half a day a vegetable. It’s shameful to be a sick vegetable here in Penang. I miss banana leaf char kuey teow, I miss Ayer Itam laksa, I miss PENANG FOOD! Oh God! My stomach is grumbling. Well, guess this stomach-grumbling event is an indication that I will be fine real soon.

Have a speedy recovery, Markas!

P.S I missed that day's steamboat with my housemates. *shit* Not sure when my time will come...

I Fell in Love

Why am I writing this? I suppose it's more for me than anything else. I need some sort of outlet for what I experience and sometimes feel. Not that any personal or private details will be posted on this blog, but still, just a sounding board for me. Now, how shall I begin?

My feelings run deep, and for the ones that I love, I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I feel, my feelings run wide and deep. It's hard for me to hide my feelings. They say that to hide your true feelings is to lie. What do you think then? I leave it to you.

I can honestly say, that I have never been "in love" until I met her. I thought my "first love" was true love, but what I have discovered, is that I had no knowledge of what true love really was, up until this point.

I've always had my guard up, through all of my relationships, as long as I can remember. I never thought I could ever lower my defences to anyone, never thought I would find the one that would achieve it.

I never felt close to anyone, never wanted to come home to anyone at the end of the day, never enjoyed spending time with anyone, never looked forward to talking to anyone openly or honestly, until she came into my life.

She is my world, and holds my heart and soul in her hands, and always will.

Being human, I have fears, like everyone else. Guess my biggest fear in this relationship is being “abandoned”.


Quite honestly, neither of this fear bothered me in the early stages of this relationship. I now know that I really didn't care if it happened at all, I'd just walk away without an ounce of pain or hurt.

Things are different this time. I am already grown-up enough to think maturely. I can’t imagine how would my days be without her, I can’t imagine who am I without her, and I can't even imagine what would happen now. It really scares me.

And about her, where should I start? She is the most amazing lady I have ever met. I have never in my life, been with a lady that I'm more in tune with. She is amazing! Not just because of the way she is, but what she has been through.

I believe in my heart of hearts, that most people wouldn't have came through as strong as she did, after going through what she had experienced all this while. She is passionate, sensitive, caring, intelligent, humorous, and she is positive towards life.


And most of all, I am her son. I love you a lot, mum, and it’s from the bottom of my heart.

Congee

Honestly, I am not a "Northern porridge" fan. Getting a bit confused? Northern porridge - according to me - is porridge cooked at the northern part of the Peninsular Malaysia, including Perlis, Kedah and part of Perak (excluding Ipoh). I only love the one cooked by my dad at home.

People say porridge is best eaten when it's warm. My dad's porridge still stays the best even if it has turned cold. That's how much I loved my dad's porridge. But sadly, I never really truly enjoyed it, as I should have.

Let's get back to more descriptive Northern porridge write-ups.

As I have encountered, the way they cooked porridge seems very different. The rice and the water has two distinct layers, which makes me feel, well, a bit soggy. Scientificaly, the porridge is in a heterogeneous state. *chuckle*

Nonetheless, Chinese believes that porridge is best for sick people. It's not too solid (easy on digestion), and it's not too liquid (it's filling). But, if I am sick, I wouldn't fancy any of the so-called Northern porridge. I would very much favour my dad's.

However, this time, I fell ill, and I wasn't around in Ipoh, so I couldn't have any bowl of it from my dad. One of my housemate, let's name him Mr. T, cooked me a bowl of this Northern porridge (obviously, he is from Kedah). Do I consider myself as lucky, or...

It's nice, but one way or another, it tasted a bit unusual. I am not complaining about his cooking skills, but, it's just weird.

The porridge was full of mushroom taste (it's cooked with mushrooms, lots of it), heterogeneous (with two separate rice-water layers), coarse, and I had "fu yu" as my porridge companion (which, back in Ipoh, we don't usually eat porridge with this "fu yu").

But yet, in some ways, it was filled with kindness, compassion and thoughtfulness. I am not sure whether Mr. T knows I am sick, but, it touched my heart more than anything else.

What matter most is not how it tasted, nor how weird it appeared. It's what significance the porridge bears.

I did not thank Mr. T after I finished my porridge. But, my gratitude towards his kind deed is endless.

Thanks alot, Mr. T.

And I will savour both the taste and the heart, whenever my dad cooks porridge for me.

A Friend Named "Kite"

I am going to be 23 next month, and guess what? I've picked up a new hobby. A hobby only people half of my age will indulge in. Yes – kite-flying. From the first day I went round searching for kites, until now, my passion for kite-flying never faded a bit – and trust me, it won’t. Since I can't afford an air ticket, this will have to suffice. It's the fundamentals of flight in its simplest form. And it's free.

But, I was caught in the middle of a dilemma...

I was standing at the side, facing the vast blue sea; there was nobody else except me and my new kite. It was almost sunset, the weather was fine, and windy. The air was so cool; the scene is so quiet and calm. The smell of the air so fresh, I know this is the moment only for me and my kite.

But, I did not want to fly him. I would love to keep him unharmed, away from the contaminated atmosphere. I would like to see him as new as ever. But, this, I know, I am being selfish.


Finally, no matter how much I refused, I have to flee him. I know he needs the blue sky more than I do. I know he will be going well with the place where he belongs. I can’t halt this because of my ignorance.

Hence, I opened my palm and set him free. Let him bring my wishes and my unhappiness away. From the dirty ground that I am standing on, I think I did the right choice. I set my kite, and off he went, above the plain blue sky. He is getting higher and higher from the ground, and it is getting smaller and smaller.

I can hear the whispering of my kite to the air, which I guess; he is thanking me for what I did. I knew he needs freedom. The vast blue sky is where he should go. Because of my selfishness, he had been kept beside me, for the fear of him being hurt by the filthiness of the air. I am wrong! My thoughts were in doubts. I don’t want to let it go from me.

I slowly, uncertainly, let the spool unravel and watched as my kite crept higher and higher into the sky like a bird of flight, finally, heading home.

I have no regrets...

Fly high, my kite...

A New Start

This will be my very first blog post. And I have no idea what to write (at least for now, hopefully). Perhaps, I am not used to blog-writing, or blogging, as people call it. However, let’s start by me telling you more about myself.

I don’t know what people think of me. I hate people who act over smart. I take lot of time to adjust with anybody, and to appreciate their differences. I don’t underestimate anyone.

I can forgive the person who kills me, but not the one who misused me. Now I know, you are thinking, what the hell this person might be of use? The answer is: I also don’t know. But still I hate people who misuse me. Now, leave it.

I never ever go behind any person (irrespective of their gender) who don’t like my attitude and don’t want to be my friend.

I believe in GOD. I am optimistic. I always think positive, which sometimes, to be honest, have not helped me to achieve anything, but still it has become a habit. I forgive people soon (but I can’t forget that easily), as I feel this life as too short and have no time to keep on proving others as wrong and we as perfect!

I believe that people wont understand the significance of the other person until that person is six-feet underground. And I am not an important person. Can you guess why? Coz... I am still alive.

I guess, you are my friend, because you've read until here, it has been quite a distance. Do you know? Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest. Or who came first or who cares the best. It's all about WHO CAME AND NEVER LEFT.

In my point of view, friendship is indeed a very simple thing (or rather, a phenomenon). It isn't how you forget, but how you forgive. Not how you listen, but how you understand. Not how you see, but it's how you feel. And most of all, it's not how you let go, but it's how tight you can hold on to it.

I love animals a lot, especially monkeys (when they are in zoos). But some of my friends prefer to stay at home. Haha~ Hope it's not a bad joke... Cheerz~